To Change or Not To Change Name, Is the Question

Your heart skipped a beat when your fiance, dropped to one knee and asked you to marry him!! Things were so loving and happy and you were soon to become Mr. and Mrs. Joe Nonamer? Wait stop the presses!!  You didn't say that you were going to be changing your name, you plan on being Ms. Donald, because you have worked so hard on making a name for yourself and all of your business associates, contacts and connections know you as Ms. Donald not Mrs. Nonamer.

This really sparked a major conversation in our offices because we have someone who got married not so long ago and she continues to use her maiden name and not her married name. Which she stated, "I use my maiden name for professional reasons and when I'm outside of the office, everyone calls me by my husbands last name." She also stated "That her husband has no issue with this because he knows she is his wife and that they are a great couple, but her family "Mother-in-Law" takes great issue with this as if her husbands' name isn't good enough or maybe that he cannot provide for her."  This really sparked our interest even more and made us think is it such a major issue of changing your name? The Pros and Cons or were there any Cons to this matter? Would couples still argue over this topic for years to come? Lastly does your husband secretly hold this against you?

The more that we talked about this issue the more heated it got.  I thought hey where did all of this name changing come from?  Tradition calls for in American customs that the women would change their names once married and take on their husbands name.  With the help of the Women's Movement some women have altered the tradition by selecting to have their original names as their middle names now or hyphenating it to include both names like Denise Perez-Welsh Sr. Assistant to President/CEO of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants.  She stated that "she never thought about loosing her name because it was what made her, who she is and identified her with her siblings and she always loved her last name." 

To change your last name is definitely a personal choice and this is something that every couple should talk about prior to the I do's, this way the confusion and fussing will not begin.  Think of how maybe you would feel if your husband, walked around and just introduced you as your first and last name and never telling anyone you where married to him.  How might you feel about this?  This gives way to; are you giving up your identity and taking on his?  In some ways you are because, a name does identify a person and it brings the couple into a bond of family ties.  Recent studies at the University of Indiana, showed that 95% of woman thought that women should change and take on their husbands last name.

My thoughts on this topic are,  as women we are getting married at later years in our life and we have spent so much time in branding our identities and knowing who and what we want, and then to expect us to give up or name is something that is major to swallow.  Personally, I feel that women should have the right to keep there last name if this is something that they choose to do and it shouldn't be open for debate.

When you go out with your girlfriends or your sitting around with other friends that are married bring this topic up and see what the guy's have to say and what the ladies feel about this subject "To Change or Not To Change Name."

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Article by: M. DeGaines- Sr. Journalist

This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of Lapazimageing.blogspot.com ©2011.  It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws.  

Avoiding the Bridezilla Episode at Your Wedding!

We know you're thrilled and excited, the love of your life has popped the question you've been waiting to hear "Will you marry me?" You both are filled with so much joy, happiness and hope for your future together.  You love his family and your family love him and all your friends seem to just get along famously.  Somewhere in between the will you marry me and the wedding you start to feel anxiety, frustrated and even rage with your groom, bridesmaids, mother and soon to be mother-in-law. Urgghh!!

We're about to tell you something that you need to remember all the way through the process of planning, rehearsal and wedding day!! First and foremost, step back and take a breath and always remember to breathe!!  Take plenty of time for yourself throughout the process and try some of our helpful little tips to keep you from looking like one of the episodes on WeTV's "Bridezilla"!  We have seven tips, we are going to give you to avoid burning out, blowing up and ruining relationships with family and friends:

Helpful Tips and Instructions:
1. Pace Yourself: You want the fabulous over the top fairytale wedding with many details. Do Not expect to pull it off in just a few months or a few weeks, something like this takes time to plan. Give yourself adequate time to research locations, because depending on the time of your wedding it may be hard to find a Banquet Hall to accommodate the large number of guest, you must count the cost and set a realistic budget.

2. Make a Budget: Making a realistic budget is very important and don't take on the feeling that it is YOUR wedding, its also your husband-to-be's wedding as well and he will be helping to foot some of the expenses.  Make sure once you set your budget you stick with your budget, you don't want to have an issue of going so far over the budget that now it puts you both into financial difficulties. Yes it is going to be one of the most memorable days of the couples lives but, remember it is just one day and life continues after the I do's.  You don't want to enter into your marriage in debt from your wedding day.

3. Create List: If you're a list person already then you are going to be a step ahead of most, but if you aren't start now!! You need a list for all of your vendors and task that you believe have to be accomplished.  If you have your Maid-of-honor who is willing to help you make sure you all compare the list and things that are priority are taken care of first and always be grateful for the help. Have specific time-lines for things and don't come unglued when somethings aren't completed because time and unforeseen obstacles can come up.

4. Delegate: If you can delegate some of the task and little jobs do so, but DO NOT MICROMANAGE, the person that is willing and capable of handling the task.  If you ask you mother to help with the seating arrangements don't step in and take over, allow her time to figure out who needs to be where and be willing to hear suggestions even if you aren't going to use them.

5. Over Talking the Wedding: We say this for our Brides-to-be with much love.  We know you're excited and you love everything about thinking about the big day, but for the sake of your relationship with your fiance, don't keep talking about the wedding!! You had real conversations prior to getting engaged and he loved just talking to you about your day, do not bombard the poor man or woman with wedding talk, books, napkins, colors, shoes, locations, number of guest, who's the bestman, where will we go for our honeymoon... Are you getting the point? It becomes overwhelming and it doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it means be balanced.

6. Remember: Remember why you wanted to marry him/her, remember to be considerate of each other, remember this is just one day to the rest of your lives, remember your friends stood by you before you met princess or prince charming, remember that he/she loves YOU!!

7. Mistakes: Mistakes happen and its not going to be perfect no matter how hard you plan.  Its okay, don't freak out, don't start screaming or just loosing your cool.  Take a moment to step back and look at the situation and you will see its not as big and even if it is you will keep a cool mind and heart to deal with it correctly.

Finale tips and thoughts:
* Ask for help: You are just one person and no-one thinks you have an "S" on your chest.
*Use List: They will help you keep track of things and remind you what you still need to accomplish
*Time out: Take a moment for you and your husband-to-be, don't plan or be in wedding mode every-day upon the day
*Remember: Remember why your getting married and what you love about each other
*Budget: Set a realistic budget and stick with it
*Fun: Enjoy your special day with all of your family, friends and guest

If you try to keep in mind some of these little tips, the process of planning your wedding and the wedding day will be filled with joy, laughter and love!

Be apart of the Hottest Spot on the Internet!
LaPaz Image/Event Consultants-Bridal Edition
Where everything is Fabulous!

Article by: LaPaz Image/Event Consultants

This article is property of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants and copyrights of Lapazimageing.blogspot.com ©2011.  It is prohibited by law to copy, add or release this information without signed authorization of the so said company herein listed in this article under the laws of The United States and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Copyright Infringement Laws.