To Change or Not To Change Name, Is the Question

Your heart skipped a beat when your fiance, dropped to one knee and asked you to marry him!! Things were so loving and happy and you were soon to become Mr. and Mrs. Joe Nonamer? Wait stop the presses!!  You didn't say that you were going to be changing your name, you plan on being Ms. Donald, because you have worked so hard on making a name for yourself and all of your business associates, contacts and connections know you as Ms. Donald not Mrs. Nonamer.

This really sparked a major conversation in our offices because we have someone who got married not so long ago and she continues to use her maiden name and not her married name. Which she stated, "I use my maiden name for professional reasons and when I'm outside of the office, everyone calls me by my husbands last name." She also stated "That her husband has no issue with this because he knows she is his wife and that they are a great couple, but her family "Mother-in-Law" takes great issue with this as if her husbands' name isn't good enough or maybe that he cannot provide for her."  This really sparked our interest even more and made us think is it such a major issue of changing your name? The Pros and Cons or were there any Cons to this matter? Would couples still argue over this topic for years to come? Lastly does your husband secretly hold this against you?

The more that we talked about this issue the more heated it got.  I thought hey where did all of this name changing come from?  Tradition calls for in American customs that the women would change their names once married and take on their husbands name.  With the help of the Women's Movement some women have altered the tradition by selecting to have their original names as their middle names now or hyphenating it to include both names like Denise Perez-Welsh Sr. Assistant to President/CEO of LaPaz Image/Event Consultants.  She stated that "she never thought about loosing her name because it was what made her, who she is and identified her with her siblings and she always loved her last name." 

To change your last name is definitely a personal choice and this is something that every couple should talk about prior to the I do's, this way the confusion and fussing will not begin.  Think of how maybe you would feel if your husband, walked around and just introduced you as your first and last name and never telling anyone you where married to him.  How might you feel about this?  This gives way to; are you giving up your identity and taking on his?  In some ways you are because, a name does identify a person and it brings the couple into a bond of family ties.  Recent studies at the University of Indiana, showed that 95% of woman thought that women should change and take on their husbands last name.

My thoughts on this topic are,  as women we are getting married at later years in our life and we have spent so much time in branding our identities and knowing who and what we want, and then to expect us to give up or name is something that is major to swallow.  Personally, I feel that women should have the right to keep there last name if this is something that they choose to do and it shouldn't be open for debate.

When you go out with your girlfriends or your sitting around with other friends that are married bring this topic up and see what the guy's have to say and what the ladies feel about this subject "To Change or Not To Change Name."

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Article by: M. DeGaines- Sr. Journalist

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